Steve Martin is a fucking genius.

when guys wear jeans so tight you can practically see their dick straining against the zip 

Seeing the undertones tomorrow. Excuse me whilst I cry :’)

Walking to Costco for some pizza yeah yeah yeah. - a song by me.

rapbattles:

*begins to rap anxiously in the middle of an exam*

I have a problem with comic sans on a deep, personal and spiritual level.

Okay, am I really hungry, or do I legit want a burger right now?

There is a very thin line between “social justice” blogging, and acting like a complete and utter dick. It will treat you well if you bother to learn the difference.

claydols:

wienerdog4life:

It’s called the Xbox One because it’s one dollar.

In other news it’s my last day of school ever.

Hello new followers I seemed to gain overnight, how you doing?